It was New Year’s Eve, 2008.

I was still living in New York City, and still working as a personal trainer to celebrities, elite athletes, models, and business tycoons.

But it was also the recession, and my clients were dropping off left and right.

My friends from church had invited me to a New Year’s Eve dinner at a fancy restaurant, and I was desperate to go, simply because I was lonely.

That’s right – even though I lived in a city with literally a million people live in it, I felt isolated, because everyone there is so wrapped up in their own lives that they rarely make time for human connection.

I didn’t care about the food – I had elk meat in the freezer from my parents.

I just wanted to get dressed up, feel important, sit in a fancy restaurant, and enjoy a night out with the girls, and NOT be alone on New Year’s Eve.

But there was just one problem.

When you go out to eat with friends in New York City, it’s culture to split the tab evenly, even if someone orders more food than you do. Pretty ridiculous, isn’t it?

And because it was the recession, I was so broke that the only money I had was one $20 bill.

With that many of us going out to eat, and my friends planning to order wine, appetizers, entrees, and dessert, my “share” of the tab would be at least $50.

That meant I had to find a way to only spend $20, without looking like a cheapskate in front of my friends.

You see, back then I wasn’t as confident as I am now.

Plus I hadn’t created the Code Red Lifestyle, so I still believed the same myths that society still does…like it’s okay to eat late, sugar’s fine “in moderation,” and you can’t spend quality time with people without shoving food in your mouth. It didn’t even occur to me that I didn’t “have” to eat.

So I got dressed up, went to the 8 p.m. dinner, and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu: A side salad. For my beverage, I stuck with water.

When I was done, and my friends were still deep in their entrees, I got up, left my $20 bill on the table to pay for the $15 side salad plus a tip for the waiter, and excused myself, saying I had to leave early.

On the train ride back to my apartment, I reflected on the fact I hadn’t enjoyed myself at all…because I’d spent the whole time frantically worrying about how to avoid everyone finding out I was so broke, I couldn’t pay my “equal” share of the tab.

But if I knew back then what I know now – and if I’d had the confidence I have now – here’s what I would have done instead (assuming I even wanted to go, because alone time doesn’t bother me anymore):

I’d go to the dinner, sip water, enjoy my friends’ company, and skip eating.

If they commented, I’d have no problem standing up for myself, no matter what they said or thought.

In so doing, I’d not only have saved that last $20, I’d have actually enjoyed myself, instead of spending the whole dinner with a hard ball of anxiety churning in my chest and gut.

All of society is raised to believe that you “have” to eat in order to enjoy spending time with other people.

But I’m here to tell you: You don’t. If it’s after 6:30 p.m. or between meal times, do what I should have done at that New Year’s Eve dinner: Sip your water and enjoy the company of your loved ones.

If they wanna know why you’re not eating, or they offer you food, tell them no thanks and insist you’re not hungry. Or that you’re still stuffed from your last meal.

Better yet, stand up for yourself and tell them it’s not your meal time.

Derailing your weight loss – or spending your very last $20 when you’re broke – because of social pressure to eat isn’t it worth it.

Do what’s right for YOU. That’s what you deserve, not another piece of chocolate cake that’s just gonna keep you heavy and sick.