I cannot tell you how many people I see sabotage themselves with their own choice of words.
I get it, and sometimes I do it, too, without realizing it.
But I've been fortunate enough to have my eyes opened to the power of our thoughts AND our words to help us, or hinder us.
Once example of this is when the occasional person posts in a Code Red coaching group and says, “I'm so frustrated!”
They then go on to list all the reasons why they're frustrated.
When we do stuff like that, we believe we're just “being honest about our feelings.”
It's not that we're lying.
But by giving voice to it, especially over and over, we're reaffirming it to ourselves.
The more you go on and on about how frustrated, or stressed, or sad, or whatever it is you're experiencing, the more you'll feel that emotion.
“So Cristy, are you saying I should LIE to myself about how I'm feeling?”
No. I'm saying that your words ARE powerful. The whole “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” isn't as true as we want it to be.
That phrase can be empowering when someone else is saying mean stuff about you, but what about when YOU are the one saying mean stuff about you…or when you're going on and on about what you don't want or don't like, instead of what you DO want and DO like?
Make no mistake – your words matter.
Talk to yourself with compassion and encouragement, instead of verbally flogging yourself.
Instead of a long-winded tirade about why you're “so frustrated,” share and focus on what's going well with you.
It doesn't mean you suppress how you're feeling. All that does is lead to emotional eating.
What it does mean is that you stop talking yourself into what you don't want, and instead, talk yourself into what you DO want.
It may take a little practice if you're not used to it. That's okay. Keep at it, because when you change your words, you change your results!