So your partner doesn’t want you to do Code Red, and so you think that means you “can’t” do it.

This doesn’t happen with everyone, but it does happen with people who wanna lose weight on the Code Red Lifestyle™.

Some partners are supportive from the get-go, whether or not they adopt the lifestyle for themselves.

Some partners aren’t happy at first, but when you stick with it and start feeling better and happier, they often come around.

A smaller number of partners don’t come around.

Whatever your EXACT situation, your partner not wanting you to do Code Red in no way, shape, or form, doesn’t mean you “can’t” do it. I get why it may feel that way, but it’s not that way.

First of all, you don’t need ANYONE’S permission to take your life back. ANYONE who wants you to stay fat, sick, and miserable, is most likely worried about themselves in some way, not about you. (More on that in a minute.)

Second, women, in particular, have this really bad habit of thinking they need their husband’s permission to do things they wanna do.

You take something to your husband to get his perspective, but you’re hesitant and timid about it. He picks up on that, and says no because he’s trying to save you from something HE thinks you don’t wanna do.

Stop being timid and asking his permission. If you wanna respectively, but confidently TELL him you’re doing it, fine, but whether or not you do it isn’t contingent on whether or not he agrees with your decision. Stop thinking it is (especially because he probably isn’t expecting you to want or need his permission, just like he doesn’t expect to want or need your permission to do things he wants to do).

Now let’s talk about some of the reasons your partner may not, at first, support your decision to do Code Red.

#1 – They’ve seen you do a million “diets.”

If you’ve tried to lose weight a million times, and your partner’s tired of the cycle, are you really that surprised they’re not looking forward to it again?

Especially if you’ve said, “THIS time is the last time” before, but it wasn’t?

People don’t believe what you say, they believe what they see you DO. Put away the brass band and live the Code Red Lifestyle™. In time, your actions will do the talking for you.

#2 – They’re uncomfortable with the change.

Many people hate change that isn’t their idea. Changes comes with a lot of uncertainty, another thing many people hate. Your partner may just be freaked out about changes, and need time to get used to them.

Bring compassion instead of defensiveness, LISTEN instead of judging and complaining about them “not supporting you,” and see if you can understand where they’re coming from. Just feeling heard can diffuse a lot of drama and negativity.

#3 – They start feeling insecure about themselves.

Most people are disappointing themselves in some way, so when they see other people succeed, it has the unintended consequence of shining a light on ways they’re disappointing themselves.

It can be hard to be reminded that you’re not living up to your potential. Everyone handles it differently, and one common response is to try and stop the person whose success is reminding them that they aren’t living up to their potential.

Before you wilt and say, “Oh, but I don’t want to make anyone else feel bad!” let me remind you that NO ONE “makes” anyone else feel anything. In the moment it doesn’t usually feel that way – believe me, I get it – but it’s still true. On an unconscious level, everyone is choosing how they feel about something, based on their own beliefs, experiences, and wiring. You absolutely cannot be responsible for how others choose to feel. It doesn’t mean you have to become a total ass to everyone, it just means that living your life around how others feel is living life as a people pleaser.

Put another way: You’re living a life around how others feel, at the expense of how YOU feel. People pleasing breeds self-hatred, and poisons you into thinking you can’t trust yourself.

Have compassion for your partner, and allow them to feel how they feel, but don’t abandon your health goals over it. It’s okay if not everyone is a fan of what you’re doing, including your partner.

#4 – They’re worried you’ll leave them behind.

Watching your partner change in front of your eyes – even in positive ways – can be scary for some people. Just like it takes you time to get used to the new you, it may take other people in your life time to get used to the new you.

Instead of getting prickly, have an open, honest conversation. Let them say what they wanna say (try not to interrupt). If you get the sense they’re worried about being left behind, remind your partner that you love and appreciate them. Compassion for someone’s perspective, even when you don’t agree with it, goes a long way.

#5 – They don’t appreciate you nagging and trying to force THEM to change.

If your partner’s not interested in joining you, LEAVE THEM ALONE. No one likes being pushed and nagged into doing something they don’t wanna do.

If you’re worried their junk food will be too tempting, have a respectful, calm, open conversation about it. Say something like, “Honey, I am not asking you to change what you eat, but I would REALLY appreciate it if you could hide your junk food from me. It’s tempting, and I’m worried I won’t be able to stay out of it. Making this change is REALLY important to me, and hiding your junk food so I don’t know where it is how you can support me without having to change what you eat. Is that something you can help me with?”

Don’t resentfully sit there expecting your partner to read your mind. Be honest and transparent and respectful, and you might be surprised by the positive response you get.

You CAN do the Code Red Lifestyle™ even if your partner isn’t currently supportive. Your partner doesn’t have to agree with everything you do in order for you to do it.

If being abrupt and abrasive about their lack of support isn’t your style, then don’t act that way. You CAN have compassion for their perspective AND still take your life back!

Have you created your free Code Red Lifestyle™ network account yet? If not, here’s how to get your account!

1) On your computer, create your account at www.CodeRedLifestyle.com/App.

2) If you want the network on a mobile device, go to the App Store or Google Play Store and search for Code Red Lifestyle.