“But you’re beautiful.”

That’s what friends of some of my clients say when they first learn my clients want to lose weight and get healthy.

This statement is a tricky one. On the surface, it may seem like a supportive comment.

And I’m certainly not disagreeing, because I cannot stand the way society beats us over the head with the idea you have to look a certain way, have a certain hair style, or wear certain clothes to be beautiful and worthy of love.

But in my clients’ case, this statement often comes from an overweight friend, and here’s why that can be a problem.

When you step up to take control of your life and make positive changes, like get healthy, it can make people around you uneasy.

Most people are uncomfortable with change, depending on how they feel it will affect them.

Plus, since society has us conditioned to believe that being overweight means you’re ugly (which is a flat-out lie), many overweight people are ashamed of their appearance.

So when your overweight friend learns you’re losing weight, and objects by saying, “But you’re beautiful,” this person may feel scared of being left behind if you lose weight and they don’t.

They may also take your decision to get healthy (which weight loss is often a part of) to mean you think anyone who’s overweight (including them) is ugly.

Be sensitive to their concerns, but remember that the decision to lose weight, and your reasons for doing it, are no one’s business but yours.

Most people mean well, but their concerns can be misplaced.

Stand up for yourself and make it clear that if they can’t support you, you understand, but they need to keep it to themselves.

Then find people who will support you. A community of like-minded, encouraging people makes a huge difference in any goal you want to accomplish, including get healthy!