All I wanna do is eat peanut M&Ms

I woke up this morning feeling down. I didn’t spring out of bed like I usually do, anxious to start the day. I was slow and quiet and had no desire to do anything but stare at the fireplace fire.

I do not battle with depression or anxiety. So it’s rare that I have one of these down days.

But due to some family stuff, I’m feeling a whole range of emotions. Most are the type you wanna numb with food.
As it just so happens, Miles (who’s in Spain right now), bought peanut M&Ms, my nemesis, and put them in the pantry here at the cabin.
I admit, the temptation to dive into them, like I used to while I was living in New York, is pretty powerful.
Instead, here’s what I’m doing to get through this emotional whirlwind.
I’m going outside for at least an hour.
No head phones. No devices.
Just me and my emotional whirlwind.
“What, Cristy? How are you coping without something to distract you?”
Distracting myself isn’t the point. The point is to stop hiding from emotions that don’t feel good, and actually face them. Feel them. Sit with them (whether you’re literally sitting, or outside on a walk).
Trying to distract ourselves, avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions, and judging them, is what gets us into trouble.
I’ve done that crap before, and I may do it again. I’m not gonna sit here and say I’m the best at this.
But when I remember to face my emotions, and take the time to face them, I feel a lot better…physically, emotionally, and about myself…than I would if I inhaled all those peanut M&Ms and had to face the physical and mental consequences of emotional eating.
If sugar calls your name when you’re feeling afraid, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed – whatever it is – I get it.
It’s an easy go-to. The quick hit you get from it does feel good.
But it never lasts, and the long-term side effects on your body and mind are absolutely brutal. It’s not worth it.
Like my dad, a licensed counselor once told me, “Honey, it’s OK to not be OK.”
Instead of numbing yourself with food again, practice being okay with not being okay…because very often, it’s the thing that helps you get back to being okay.

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