“I always thought that it was a selfish thing to focus on yourself and your needs when others needed you more…..so I thought.”

That’s what a Code Red Ringside Rebel graciously shared about the biggest mistake they made in weight loss.

Here’s what else this Rebel shared:

“The biggest mistake I have made in my weight loss journey is putting everyone and everything before myself. Throughout High School and Junior High my mom was heavy and she would always be on diets and make me go on them with her even though I did not have a weight problem then.

“When I had my children, my weight went up and I was not able to get it under control. I spent all of my time doing usual life stuff — the work and children juggle, helping my parents, volunteering for every cause, helping other friends etc. Everyday I would burn myself out, at 22 had a terrible horse accident that put me in PT for a year to be able to walk right again, age 28 lost my home and rental properties in a major flood, at 38 lost my son tragically at age 17, totally quit believing in God.

“Until just a couple years ago I really did not put my needs first or truly deal with grief. I just kept going and going and GOING and keeping myself busy. Three divorces during this time with two of them cheaters.

“I always thought that it was a selfish thing to focus on yourself and your needs when others needed you more…..so I thought. During my early 30s I began having major panic attacks and anxiety because I was burning the candle at both ends and never really doing anything for myself.

“I got so disgusted with myself that in my 40s I did every diet plan Under the Sun from Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, HCG, grapefruit diet. Keto, cabbage soup diet, Whole 30, Slim Fast, the apple diet and even a medical recommended diet called HMR, where all of your food was prepackaged and you heated it up. Now that I look back on that diet and see how many carbs and horrible things were in it I’m shocked that it was a medical approved diet by doctors.

“Even when I started Code Red on my own for the first time in 2019 I dropped more than any plan I’d done before from 326 to the 280s, I still did not put myself first and continued to burn myself out constantly for other people in too many ways to list.

“Around 2019/2020, I went to see Cristy live in person in Boise and it was eye-opening. In 2023 I did the Shift with Andrea and started listening to every podcast I could find from Cristy. I’ve done several custom programs and 10 lb takedown challenges and gone up and down up and down up and down until I’m sick of it.

“I just signed up for Summer Slimdown and specifically chose coach Kerri for this because I am very very interested in the emotional eating information that she is offering. I must find out why I cannot seem to continue on a downward weight loss path but I believe it has a lot to do with not putting myself first and being stressed out and emotionally eating to “soothe” the anxiety and pain of life crap.

“If there’s one thing I have learned through all of this, I wish that I had put myself first and my needs first to be able to function properly and to be able to get my weight under control at an early age. PUT YOU FIRST at all costs. Your life depends on it.”

Can you relate to what she said about thinking it’s selfish to take care of yourself when other people depend on you?

If so, it’s not just you. Thinking you have to ignore your own needs is a REALLY common misconception.

See, most people think that putting themselves first means putting everyone else last…

As if you have to tell everyone else that they’re on their own and can’t count on you anymore.

But that’s absolutely 100% NOT what it means.

All it means is this:

YOUR needs matter, too.

And you get to take care of YOU so that you’re healthy enough to take care of others WITHOUT losing your own mental and physical health.

Sometimes, that might mean saying no to other people, that’s true.

But it doesn’t mean NEVER EVER helping someone else.

See, you have needs, whether you like it or not. And if you’re not meeting them in healthy ways, you WILL meet them in unhealthy ways…

Like eating crap, eating too much, drinking, too much TV, too much time on your phone, and worse.

Ignoring your needs doesn’t make them go away. 

All it does is make YOU more prone to meeting them in ways that come with negative consequences (like gaining a bunch of weight and feeling sick and tired all the time).

Bottom line: Yes, it’s great to help others. Yes, it can fill your cup.

AND when you take so much care of others that your cup stays bone dry, you’ll burn out and reach for the easiest ways to try and fill it…even if those ways are bad for you in the long run.

If this is the situation you find yourself in, your next step is simple. Do something for you that is also good for you. A massage, a bubble bath, a spa day, coffee with the girls…heck, even five minutes is something if that’s all you’ve got.

It’s okay to put yourself first in a way that equips you to be there for the people you love!