For most people, it’s true. Giving to others feels great.

Giving to yourself is uncomfortable.

If it’s someone you love, you’re happy to pour into them, lift them up, be there for them.

But when it comes to yourself, it’s putting yourself, depriving yourself, and settling.

Society shames us into thinking caring about and supporting ourselves is selfish.

Meanwhile, the nobility of putting everyone’s needs before your own is played up to the point it is IMPOSSIBLE to EVER live up to.

It sets you up to “take care” of people to the point they become helpless, and incapable of solving their own problems. They get themselves into messes with no regard for the consequences, because they know you’ll be there to “fix it” for them, even if it means your emotional and physical health pay the price.

I get it. It’s a fine line between being there for the people you love, giving to others, and taking care of you. It’s a balancing act that you may need to adjust constantly.

What I can tell you is that shoving all your needs to the back burner, guilt tripping yourself, allowing others to guilt trip you – all that kind of stuff – doesn’t work.

It grinds you into the ground, until you feel like joy and happiness are impossible.

Your relationships suffer. Your health suffers.

And believe it or not, so do the people you care about…

Either because they’re getting this ground down version of you, or because you’re training them to depend on you so much that if something happens to you, they’re gonna be left hanging because they don’t understand how to solve their own problems.

Think it over. Are you giving to others because it fills you up? Because you feel energized and satisfied?

Or are you doing it because you’re trying to prove something?

Or because you’re guilted and manipulated into it?

Or because you believe it makes you a “bad person” if you say, listen, I’m not gonna be able to do that for you – AND – do so without feeling like you have to explain yourself.

If you feel wiped out and resentful and guilty, vs. filled up and satisfied, that’s your answer.

You deserve grace, compassion, and support, too, and there is NOTHING whatsoever wrong or selfish with being your own biggest cheerleader. Anyone who says that is probably uncomfortable with the idea (which is their issue, not yours), or intimidated by it (again, their issue).

Give and be kind to yourself. You are MORE than worth it!