Why do I keep screwing up?

When you wanna be doing something right, but you keep screwing up, it can be really frustrating.

Ain’t nobody MAKING you screw up. You get that, you accept it, and yet…you’re still doing it. So why is that?

I’ve got a great answer to this, and it’s probably not one you’ve heard anyone else say.

Ready? Here it is:

WHO. CARES.

See, the problem with fixating on “why” you’re screwing up is that it’s all you’re focused on and all you care about.

Put another way: It keeps you focused on the problem you hate, instead of how to solve it.

When all you focus on is the problem, it consumes you. The more it consumes you, the more hopeless it seems.

Next time you catch yourself fixating on why you’re messing up, STOP, and instead, focus on what you can do about it.

Let’s say your issue is that you get home from work and start snacking.

Instead of asking, “Why do I keep doing this? What’s WRONG with me??” ask, “How can I prevent this?”

For example, if there’s a particular food you go for, stop buying it. If it’s your husband’s junk food and he won’t stop buying it, ask if he will hide it from you.

Another example: Use a redirect. Meaning, do something else immediately when you get home, to interrupt that pattern of “get home from work and snack.”

Make this new activity easy to access, and write yourself a giant note to remind you to do it.

Also, pick something you enjoy as much as, if not more than, the food you’re snacking on.

Maybe it’s practicing the guitar, singing, playing cards, or even going on a walk.

Maybe you like to knit, crochet, or make jewelry.

Maybe you hit a punching bag for twenty minutes, or scream into a pillow, to work off the day’s stress and get it out of you.

Or maybe, you call a sympathetic friend on the way home from work, and use that connection to strengthen your resolve.

Whatever it is, plan on doing it the instant you get home, and create a NEW pattern to disrupt the old one.

Are you starting to get what I mean when I say to focus on the solution, not the problem?

You are not the problem. The PROBLEM is the problem. So just work the problem!

Down the road, maybe there’s a time to address the “why.”

But fixating on the why just creates more excuses in your mind, and keeps you focused on what you don’t want.

Focus on what you DO want: To solve the problem! Then brainstorm ways you can solve it!


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