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What people think of us can really mess with our head sometimes…if we let it.
Especially if those people are really, really good at pushing your buttons and hitting your nerves. It can keep you awake at night!
Fear of others’ judgment can hold us back from going after what we truly want, and even from taking better care of ourselves.
One example that always comes to mind: Some people who join the Code Red Lifestyle don’t tell anyone they did it. Not even their spouse!
My support staff has even gotten messages from people who were, at the time, terrified for anyone to find out they were trying to lose weight again. They didn’t want to hear the expected “You’re just going to fail” or “You’ll just gain it all back” or “You’re doing another ‘diet’??” comments.
Not letting others’ opinion of you control your life comes more easily to some people than to others. It can affect even the most confident people, but in working with my weight loss clients, I’ve seen that ow self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness make it especially hard.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to care more about what you think than what others think.
The key is simply this: You must love yourself.
If you love yourself unconditionally, what others think of you can’t hurt you.
I know, it’s easier said than done.
But self-acceptance and believing you’re worthy are the real keys to happiness. Why?
Because some of the most miserable people in the world loathe themselves.
Some direct it inward. They punish themselves by eating themselves into sickness and obesity. They might choose to stay with abusive partners, friends who take advantage of them, bosses who take them for granted, all because they believe they’re not worthy of better.
Others direct it outward, by mentally or physically punishing others, in a variety of ways, because these others serve as external proxies for this person’s self-loathing.
Contrast all that with people who love themselves. They give off this amazing aura you can’t wait to bask in. They aren’t needy or clingy. You feel great just being in their presence.
In my experience, learning to love yourself means getting to the root of where your feelings of unworthiness originate, as well as proving to yourself that you’re worthy.
Practicing simple acts of self-love are one tool to help you do this.
Taking better care of your body, by eating right, getting massages and manicures, going on walks, practicing Yoga – all those can help.
Writing yourself compliments in a journal, or writing down things you accomplished in a day, can also help you learn self-love.
Finally, if you’re spending a lot of time around people who tear you down, limit your time with them. Find people who will lift you up, and who will love you while you learn to love yourself.
Holding yourself back because you fear others’ opinions is a disappointing, unfulfilling way to live. You ARE worthy, and you DO deserve to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.
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