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When my clients are struggling, many are comfortable asking for help; or at least, they’ll push through their discomfort to do it.
But there’s always a portion who are extremely uncomfortable asking for help.
So instead, they suffer in silence.
Some are terrified of being vulnerable, and expect to be judged and ridiculed.
Some feel like they should be able to figure everything out themselves. They see asking for help as weak and pathetic.
Or they feel like they’re “bothering people.”
If you’re the suffer in silence type, here’s what I have to say about those thoughts stopping you from reaching out for the support you need.
1. Asking for help is NOT weakness.
You may feel like asking for help makes you some helpless infant who needs spoonfed.
But how can that be the case when you rarely ask for help? Obviously it can’t be, right?
You don’t need “spoonfed.” All you need is a normal amount of help.
None of us can do everything ourselves, including me.
I’m not afraid to ask for help, especially if I know it’ll save me hours, days, and even weeks of frustration trying to figure it out myself.
2. Our minds greatly exaggerate fear of being judged or ridiculed.
When you find a supportive community, like the Code Red Lifestyle, ridicule and judgment are incredibly rare.
If anyone does post snark in one of my Facebook groups, it’s deleted.
If they’re being horrible to someone else, I take it very seriously, and have been known to mute, or even kick out of the group, people who do that kind of thing.
I’ve also noticed that, in general, people love to support and encourage others, and that definitely includes you.
You’re going to find a lot more people like that than you will the negative trolls who tear you down because they’re just miserable, unhappy people.
We fear that those trolls are “everywhere,” but they’re the exception, not the norm.
3. You’re NOT “a bother.”
If one or two important people in your life made you feel like you’re a bother, no offense to them, but they’re wrong.
In fact, I’m betting you’re pretty independent.
I’ve seen suffer in silence types like you tell the person (or people) they’re talking to that asking for help is uncomfortable.
The people they say this to understand. Not only that, they’re flattered to be asked!
Look, I get that asking for help is extremely difficult and personal for you, and some part of you just can’t believe there are people in the world who are happy to support you.
But the truth is, there are. If you can’t find them in person, you can find them online.
So next time you’re struggling, reach out.
Whatever made you feel like you have to “go it alone,” I’m here to tell you that you don’t.
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