I did this to prioritize my sleep (and it got some weird looks)

I recently attended a small evening gathering of affluent Boise women. The point of the gathering was to socialize, drink wine, and watch a French film. The invitation even said to bring a bottle of wine and a snack.

(I did not bring wine or snacks, because I wasn’t having any of either.)

The lady hosting the party had a huge, beautiful house, and it was interesting to tour it (though as a minimalist, probably not something I’d ever want for myself).

When it came time to drink wine and snack, I noticed that the “snacks” the other ladies brought were higher quality and a little fancier than typical “snack foods,” but it was after six o’clock, so I wasn’t gonna eat even if the snacks had matched my bodybuilding macros.

“Which wine do you want, Cristy?” one of the ladies asked me.

“No wine for me, thank you,” I replied.

“How about some water?”

“No, thank you, I’m good.” I’d already finished my water for the day. Plus, I needed to get up at 4 AM the next day and didn’t want to be up all night peeing.

After visiting for a while (while they drank wine and ate), they decided it was time to watch the French film.

But it was getting late (for me, anyway – I go to bed at 8:00 most nights), and I needed to get back to Hazel, so I explained I was leaving and thanked them.

“What? You’re leaving?” one repeated.

“Yes. I’ve gotta be up at 4 AM,” I replied. “I’ve gotta train in the morning, and I need my sleep.”

They stared at me like deer in the headlights, not sure what to think of me.

We went back and forth a couple more times before I left, because it just wasn’t clicking that I was leaving.

As I drove home, I realized that when I first told them I was leaving, it felt like they were judging me for not sticking around (which didn’t bother me and is pretty typical when you do something out of the ordinary).

But as I told them why I was leaving, I could see them start to judge themselves.

It’s a pretty common dynamic that happens when you’re with a group of people who know (in their minds) that they could be doing things more healthfully.

Meaning, if they find out you’re making healthy choices, they may start feeling self-conscious about their choices.

Depending on the person, they may get quiet, they may awkwardly laugh, they may pressure you to eat or drink, or they may even try to embarrass or shame YOU because they feel embarrassed or ashamed of themselves.

I’ve seen Rebels sabotage themselves in social situations because they don’t want to “make other people feel bad.”

This situation reminded me that it’s actually other people making themselves feel bad.

Seriously, think about it for a sec. If they weren’t already judging themselves, and were completely comfortable with their choices, nothing I could say or do would “make” them judge themselves (if I’d said anything, which I didn’t).

As we head into summer, you’re probably gonna find yourself in a lot of social situations. If so, please remember that sabotaging yourself doesn’t actually help other people, and it absolutely doesn’t help you!

All it does is teach other people that they can push you around, and it teaches you that you can’t trust yourself to stay on track.

You don’t have to be obnoxious and go all “talk to the hand” when you turn down extra/unapproved food or beverages. You can calmly tell other people, “Listen, you’re free to do what’s right for you. This is what’s right for me. I feel SO much better and this is important to me.”

Staying on track in social situations is easier when you accept that you’re not “making” anyone uncomfortable by making healthy choices. They’re making themselves uncomfortable.

You can be compassionate and sensitive AND still stay on track!

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