There’s a fine line between giving to and supporting others, and putting yourself last.
People with unworthiness issues put others first at the expense of themselves, always, as if doing so will somehow make them worthy.
But that’s a bucket that can never be filled by helping others. Worthiness has to come from within.
If you try to earn worthiness from other people, you’ll be trying (and failing) to get it for the rest of your life.
See, unworthiness is the most common root cause of a weight problem.
If you’re always putting yourself dead last while taking care of others, because deep down you think that’s all you deserve, AND because you’re trying to earn worthiness from other people, you’re sending yourself a pretty rough message.
You’re telling yourself, over and over and over…
“You’re not worthy of being healthy.”
“You’re not worthy of happiness.”
“You don’t matter at all.”
Besides leading to a miserable existence, sending yourself messages like these tears you down physically and emotionally.
Your mind is not separate from your body. It’s part of your body.
Saying rotten things to yourself – either with words, or by your actions – may as well be grabbing a mallet and slamming it down as hard as you can on parts of your body.
If you’re used to saying cruel things to yourself, it can be a tough habit to break, but for best results in your weight loss and in your life, it’s definitely worth the effort to break.
Another problem with sending yourself messages that you’re terrible and unworthy is that it deprives you and everyone around you of the best you have to give.
I don’t care how kind-hearted and giving you are. If you feel like crap all the time, you cannot be your best…
Not for what matters to you in your life, and not for the people you love.
Giving to others is a great way to get out of your own head and put your problems in perspective, it’s true.
But that’s totally different from treating yourself like dirt while trying to earn approval from other people.
Being the best for the people you love means being the best YOU that you can be…
Which is literally impossible to do if you don’t love yourself.
Self-love is not arrogance. It’s not, “I’m better than you.”
Self-love feels like any other form of love. It’s where you genuinely care about and support someone – in this case, yourself.
Start learning to genuinely care about and support yourself, by making yourself a priority along with everyone else you’re supporting.
Ask for what you want.
Learn to RECEIVE if someone pays you a compliment or wants to help you with something.
Say kind things to yourself, just like you would someone you love and want to support.
And treat yourself to healthy self-care activities that fill your cup, so you have the resources to truly give to the people you love.
You are worth it!
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