These days when you mention that you wanna drop some weight, it’s pretty common for people to tell you, “Oh, you don’t need to lose weight. You’re beautiful the way you are!”

First of all, it’s for sure better than someone insulting you.

And in most cases, they care about you and just want you to love yourself.

But not in ALL cases.

In some cases, the person saying it to YOU is actually talking about themselves. They don’t wanna lose weight, or don’t think they can, so try and stop you from doing it so they don’t have to watch you slim down while they stay heavy.

Either way, if you’re unhappy with yourself, and wanna lose some weight to help you feel better, then don’t let other people shut you down just because they want you to love yourself.

Whether or not you “need” to lose weight, if you WANT to, then do it!

(One caveat: If you’re dealing with an eating disorder, consider reaching out to a qualified professional who can help you navigate it in a healthy way.)

Now, I definitely think you should love yourself no matter your size or shape, because hating yourself doesn’t help you. It leads only to pain (for you and other people, depending on how you handle your self-hatred).

But a person can love themselves and still want MORE from life.

It might be a loving partner, a job you enjoy, or a body that moves how you need it to, feels good, and fits into clothes you actually like.

Whether that’s 10 pounds or 210 pounds, if losing extra body fat will help you feel better, make it easier to get around, and be happier with yourself, then go for it.

Some people who don’t have a weight problem want to have more muscles. It’s totally fine to want more muscles, and it’s totally fine to want less body fat!

To be clear, body positivity is important, because someone can be unhappy with their body at any size.

Yet carrying too much extra body fat comes with serious health consequences. It’s hard on your joints, it exposes you to toxins stored in your fat cells, and endless studies show that it carries an increased risk of disease.

Plus, obesity is often a symptom of things like a need to control, unworthiness, trying to protect yourself from another sexual assault, coping with being bullied, and putting yourself last, to name just a few of the many root causes. Shedding the weight can be a part of healing from those problems.

As for the “you don’t need to lose weight, you’re beautiful the way you are comment,” whether or not someone else thinks you “need” to lose weight is irrelevant.

The question is, do YOU want to carry around less body fat?

If so – and if you’re not navigating an eating disorder – then find a safe, sustainable way to lose the extra weight, and go for it.

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