Having boundaries is not a problem for me. I don’t take my phone in the bedroom at night, I’m very protective of my time, and I only let people into my personal life who lift me up and make me better.

But there are a lot of people in this world who struggle with the concept of boundaries.

I see this a lot with my clients who are moms. They put their kids’ and spouse’s needs above their own in every possible way, thinking they are showing love.

But they end up completely frazzled and stressed, and often turn to food to cope, which leads to a vicious cycle of weight gain, guilt, and shame. Often it leads to illness.

Leaving yourself open to the whims of others 24/7, whether it’s your kids, friends, co-workers, or even your boss, has detriments beyond your health and stress levels.

It trains the people around you to turn to you for every little thing, even when it’s something they could do themselves.

People are hard-wired to seek things that make our lives easier. This includes asking other people to do things we’re capable of figuring out for ourselves – it’s just easier to ask someone to do it for us.

Saying “yes” to every request made of you leads to helplessness on the part of people who want you do do everything for them, because, should you ever not be available, for any reason, they’ll have no clue what to do.

Plus, when people realize you get stuff done, they’ll move more and more onto your plate, well beyond your capacity…

…IF you let them.

The world isn’t going to burn to the ground if you don’t say yes to every little request made of you.

Will you disappoint some people? Or even make them angry?

Yes, that can happen. But here’s the thing.

If someone only loves you because they can get you to do whatever they want, that’s not much of a friend. I know it’s something I’d never tolerate.

And most important of all, by letting other people walk all over your boundaries, all day every day, there’s one person you are always letting down, and that person is YOU.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and when you put everyone under the sun ahead of your own needs, your cup never fills. You’ve gotta take care of you.

Start saying no to things. Leave your phone on the table instead of bringing it into the bedroom. Teach your kids (and your spouse) to think and fend for themselves. I’m not saying you can never do nice things for them, but if you’re running ragged, it won’t kill them to become a little more self-reliant.

Start taking better care of yourself, by setting some boundaries.

And when you do, don’t let people talk you out of them. People only respect boundaries when you stick to them.