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53: How To Raise A Healthy Kid When The Deck Is Stacked Against You

Raising kids in a balanced manner

What Is This Episode About…

In this episode, I’ll have a conversation with Jennifer Ludington, a big player in the health and fitness industry, about raising kids in a balanced manner, with health and wellness being at the forefront. Jenn has a 13-year-old daughter (Laney) that she raised mostly alone, and she brought her up in her gym, literally, because she used to train her clients while her daughter slept on the floor of the gym (comfortably of course).  Jenn taught her daughter personal responsibility for her own life and health, and it translated not only into the person and leader that she's become, but also into her becoming a highly balanced and healthy individual. 

Jenn believes that parents should empower their kids to make their own health and diet decisions by always teaching them the benefits, or lack thereof, of different foods. She applied the same with Laney since she was little. When it came to food, Jenn always gave her two choices, to eat or not to eat. She never forced her to finish her food and would always educate her instead of the pros and cons of what she was about to eat. If they were at a McDonald’s, Jenn would tell her exactly what’s in McDonald’s food products, and Laney would make her own choices.

Now that she’s grown up, Laney is accustomed to eating healthy diets and whenever she goes off track and takes something she’s not supposed to, she actually gets herself back on track by detoxing and getting back to her proper diet. Jenn advocates for mothers putting their ego aside and creating the time to take care of themselves and their health, so they can really take care of their kids. Tune in for more on that and how Jenn was able to get past the struggle to raise an independent teenager who not only takes personal responsibility but also balances her own health.

Key Points of Discussion

  • Passionate about fitness, health, and really pulling people forward (03:46)
  • Teaching our kids personal responsibility over their own life and health (06:43)
  • A 13-year-old who makes her own decisions about food (09:08)
  • Educating our kids about what is in different foods and allowing them the space to make their own choices (10:59)
  • The mom guilt how it makes 90% of women do more for their family than they do for their own basic care and needs (15:26)
  • Prioritize yourself because it doesn't take much for your fitness (20:22)
  • Getting rid of your ego to put an end to your excuses (22:11)

Learn More About The Content Discussed…

Get the Code Red On-The-Go Guide here.

Join the next 10-Pound Takedown Challenge here.

When Was It Released…

This episode was released March 25, 2020

Episode Transcript…

 

Disclaimer: This Transcript Is Auto-Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

 

Cristy  0:00  

Welcome to rebel weight loss in lifestyle. I'm your host Christy Code Red author, entrepreneur. Haha retired professional boxer. How's everybody doing? I love our weekly podcast. I love it. I know you love it too because you guys send me the greatest ratings and reviews. Let me read you one. Let me read you one. This one's from Luna Fox 123 she gave five stars and she said you are speaking straight to me that was in the title. Binge listening to all your podcasts Christie, but Episode 36 with Carrie about weight loss surgery felt as if it was my confession. I'm so thankful for your candor and willingness to bear your innermost thoughts and emotions so that we can all feel intensely connected to both of you. It's as if I found a family I know I was missing. I didn't know I was missing. Keep putting out such great content Luna the fox 123 Thank you for such a raw and real review and think Thank you for all your ratings and reviews guys. We are, we are doing so well. And it's all because of you. And I don't take that lightly. Let's get into this podcast. Of course, I'm excited because of course, I don't have idiots for guests. I have a really awesome guest. Hello. Come on. Well, this is a this is a girl that has been one of my best friends I would say, since 2009. And one of the first people that I met when I moved back to Boise. After being gone for so long. I'll let you listen to the podcast but very, very, very special woman that's been in my life for many years. And that holds a very special place in my heart, but a big player in the health and fitness industry. And someone who's been around as someone who has done it all has seen it all has worked with it all. It can't be as a BS er, and you can't be as this girl. She and I really get along well. And boy Finally I just said Hey, you got to On my podcast, let me interview you. So let's get to it guys. Stay tuned. Here we go.

 

Intro  2:10  

 I'm Christy Code Red and you're listening to rebel weight loss and lifestyle where we believe food holds the power to heal or poisoned and we believe our society has been misled regarding proper nutrition and weight loss. You're in the right place if you're looking for some straight-up truth because I'm here to shed light on the lies and brainwashing that has taken place over the past five decades. Thanks so much for listening.

 

Cristy  2:36  

Everybody listen, Christy Code Red coming at you guys, author, entrepreneur, retired professional boxer. I got another guest on for you. But you know what is funny? It's funny because it took me so long to get this guest on the air. And you know we know each other so well. It is like it should have been a go-to like an easy go-to and It took me quite finally. And then I'd asked her a while back and then I forgot I asked her because I can't freaking remember anything unless I email myself. And then I finally so finally I, I caught her like on a plane and I was like, please, let's get this schedule. So guys without going on and on and on about it. I got to introduce you, Jen. Ludington. Jen, we have known each other since 2009.

 

Jennifer  3:21  

Yeah. 2009 You're right.

 

Cristy  3:24  

Holy moly. I'm not gonna get too sappy on you guys right now. But I remember that. And she's laughing because she knows. I remember the exact moment that I met Jen Ludington. And it is always stuck with me. And we've been very good friends ever since. And so I'm gonna let Jen introduce herself to you guys and give us a snippet on you and what's going on with you?

 

Jennifer  3:46  

 Yeah, thanks, Christy. Well, first of all, thank you for having me. I'm so excited about this. I've really been waiting for this. So thank you for the opportunity. first segment. Oh, yeah, we've been friends for a long time girl like it's been a long time and the funny thing is, is that Before you Christy for the Mohawk, you guys I know Christy before the Mohawk and I was kind of obsessed with Christie-like even before she was Christy Code Red like I had this crazy I stopped her for a little bit. Like I literally I wanted her to be a part of my gym so badly like I was running this gym, high-end fitness kind of, you know, studio in Boise, Idaho, and I wanted nobody but Christie like I was just hunting her and she finally agreed to come over and train some of her clients in my space and I was so excited to have her and her knowledge and just her energy there. So that's kind of backstory on Christy and I but yeah, that's where I started. Those are my roots, like my passion is is fitness and health and really pulling people forward, you know, into their greatest possibility, right? And so I started this journey of mine. Gosh, Chris, it's been 14 years. 14 years ago, I started this journey and I've never looked back. Not to say that I haven't had ups and downs. Right.   It's been gnarly. It's been great. It's been hard. It's been easy. But at the same time, it's been so rewarding. So yeah, my specialty now as I sold my brick and mortar Christina was that in Boise, I sold a yoga studio that I opened, sold a protein bar company that I started. And now I've taken my business online so that I can really impact people, you know, at a higher level, like more, right? I just want massively to impact people in their health and their wellness. And so I coach high performing entrepreneurs and CEOs into living their healthiest lives, so they could make a bigger impact. I love that.

 

Cristy  5:33  

N  ow, Jen, and I have, as you know, we've been friends for a long time, and there's a lot of angles that we could talk about and a lot of different things. And when I contacted Jen, I was like, I need you to come on the podcast and talk about kids because I could have had her talk about a number of things. But guys, I want to talk to you today about kids. Jen has a daughter named Laney she's 13 now right, Jen? Yeah. And what I love about this whole story about Lainey is because Jen used to train clients, you know, she, she had my niece she was, you know, mostly a single parent. I mean, can I say that without you know, as far as you know, when it started off kind of rough with lady's dad and Jen was kind of on her own and, and Lainey would be in a baby on the floor of her gym while Jen train clients. She was sleeping and Jen trained clients at five o'clock in the morning and she trained him all day long. I mean, you want to talk about a hard worker that came from a military family that was given nothing that had to work for everything she had. And so she had this baby, but the way that you've raised Laney is very balanced in my opinion. Can you kind of give us a little background on Laney and kind of take us up to this point?

 

Jennifer  6:43  

Yeah, I'm gonna say something really quick to about that before I even dive in and you've helped me with this Christy. But, you know, I used to always say she was born a lion, like a color lady, the lion. She was born with this amazing courage and just fierce about her. And I used to always just say, Oh, that's just how she was born had nothing to do with me. And you actually told me a lot and you know, pulled me into that say, No, John, you are a great mom. And I'm going to say like, finally I could say, yeah, I'm a great mom. And more women need to say that. No, mom is perfect, but you're loving your kids. You're showing up for your kids. You're a great mom. My hat's off to you. Like, own that. number one. Number two is the most important thing. I think when raising my daughter. She's an amazing human. All moms will say that about their kids, but she's truly remarkable. And I think that what happened early on was she was personally responsible. I taught her personal responsibility. And it translated not only into the person that she's becoming, and the leader that she's becoming, but her own personal responsibility for her health. Right. She is personally responsible for taking care of her own health. I don't get in the way of that. Right. I let her direct herself because she's intuitive enough. responsible enough to understand that it's all on her. It's not my responsibility to, you know, coddle her or helicopter parent her into what feels right for her body. Right. She understands that it's her. And she's done that since in the beginning when I really just educated her, Christy. You know, and I think parents forget how monumental that is. And when we don't educate our kids, we take away that personal responsibility when we're shoving things at them and pushing them instead of pulling them. Right. And that's the one thing that I can say is that I taught her personal responsibility, blanket over everything, right? You're 100% responsible for 100% of everything that happens all the time. Right? And if we could adopt that with our kids and our society, especially when it comes to food, nutrition, movement, right if you get rid of the word exercise movement, right, like if we can have our kids Be responsible for that, and shift that conversation and paradigm. That's where the change is going to occur with the next generation.

 

Cristy  9:08  

You have for an early age if I remember right Lainey has been kind of making her own decisions about food. I mean, I remember you saying, Do I let my kid have Halloween candy? Yeah, but at this point, she doesn't really want it. And she really and I remember years later he's been kind of taking her own direction on foods she kind of puts herself as she's self-correcting. She's self-balancing.

 

Jennifer  9:31  

Yes, that's the key so interesting story to tell you this really quickly. Lady loves Linder chocolates. But let me explain this to you guys. Lady has had the same bag of Wonder chocolates in our house for I mean, it's maybe been a year like where is it? And it's funny cuz I was like, really Christie. I'm not joking. So I was like, I was thinking this morning about this. It was like, I wonder if she has me in that bag like that Linder bag. You know that read Linda magazine story. And I found I found one in the back but I think she's had it for like eight months. Oh, that's funny. So this is the thing when you don't demonize food when you start putting your editorial version on food and you allow children the choice by giving them the education that they need to make the decision for themselves. It is insane what happens the problem is that parents go like this Christy, it drives me nuts. I like I can't even get my head wrapped around this. Parents will pull out a bowl of broccoli or salad. And I watch it. I watched habit at restaurants with even with family members not gonna say names. But even family members all watch this happen. They'll put a bowl of something healthy in front of a young child, and they'll be like, oh, now, if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. I just want you to try it. You just set them up for failure. Congratulations, you put your own ideas on to your child about what they are and what they aren't supposed to like. According to us. Society crap has told us for years. And so for me with Laney, you know, I have to say this to Christie. When she was little, I would just, I would literally give her two choices, right? And she would make a choice, whatever she wanted. I would never force her to finish her food. I would never force her to eat when she wasn't hungry. I would never force any of it. I would educate her and say, Okay, if we go and eat McDonald's, this is what's in McDonald's. I didn't put my editorial version on it. I just told her, I gave her enough was enough respect, to know that she was smart enough to make her own choices, and then I got to stay out of it. Okay. So I'm an educator. This is what's in the food. And when you eat broccoli, this is actually what happens to your body. Like there's fiber in it. It's not your stomach. You know, you don't you're not constipated. I mean, these are the things I would tell her. I wouldn't say it was good or bad. I would tell her what the food does and what it doesn't do for her. I don't need to say At the end, so you should eat that. I don't need to say that. She gets to be personal and responsible for what she chooses. And I get to empower her choices instead of push on top of her. And that's where issues happen. When I see kids come over to my house Christy, I'll tell you, these kids that they're denied everything like it's like forbidden are never allowed to eat anything. It's like the devil to have Lenore chocolates in your house. Right? They come over to my house. And if there's Linder chocolates or something like that around their magic, they go crazy to eat everything, right all at once, because the parents are putting this really, you know, strict kind of way that people should or shouldn't be eating. But if you educate your kids, then they can make their own choices. And I think that's vital. And I think as parents, we take that from our kids, right? We take that personal responsibility for our kids and instead of empowering them, we enable them and then they're reliant on us and that's just

 

Cristy  12:56  

not the way I wanted to raise her. And I noticed you're recently I say recently, I don't I remember it pretty recently in your stories. A lady had gone somewhere. And she had had just a copious amount of sugar. And she made herself like her grandma and grandpa's house or something and made herself just sick. And she ended up coming home and kind of putting herself back on her own detox. She was just like, Oh, Mom.

 

Jennifer  13:19  

Yes, that's exactly what happened. She went away. So they went, my husband took the girls, this happened twice in the past like six months. My husband took the girls to Vegas for like a dad daughter weekend, right? You know, Jason, we don't have to talk about this. So he comes back and we're driving home. It's late from Boise is driving home late. I'm like, Honey, I'm sorry. I don't have any food. You want to get something quick? She goes, No, I don't want anything to eat. Mom, I don't want anything to eat. The only thing I want tomorrow is steak and avocado.

 

Jennifer  13:53  

Like Laney

 

Jennifer  13:54  

and I'm like, okay, and she was like I don't want to eat the bread. I don't want to eat anything. That's tough sugar. I'm just I don't feel good, my body hurts. She feels it in her body. She tells me she can see her under her eyes when she when she doesn't eat. And the way that I taught my daughter through education was not only like speaking it to her, but it was experiential, you guys. So like kids get to you get to have them, like really embody it by teaching them and showing them experiences. So, for example, with Lainey, if she was going to volleyball and she had chosen to eat something like maybe she had something at her friend's house, and it was junk, and she went to volleyball, and I'm like, she didn't do very well, right. And I'm saying, oh, what did what did you have before you played? And she told me to sit, okay. I didn't need an editorial. I didn't need to give my feedback to her. She just gets to go, Oh, she's smart enough to put it and all of her kids are smart enough to put it together and pretty soon it's like, oh, I better have some beef jerky and or something like that instead of you know, lays right so and then Oh wow. Look Laney you actually played tons better than you did before. But I would never say Oh, it was because of that. I would say, oh, how do you think you played? Great. Oh, what did you eat before? Oh, I had this instead of this. Oh, cool, move on. Right? As parents, we don't need to hammer that in our kids are smart enough. And we need to give them that credit and respect them enough to understand that they can experience we put that together. And I think that's important. I love that.

 

Cristy  15:26  

Now let's talk about mom guilt. This is something that I talk about all the time, the mommy martyr, the mom guilt that is very real. And this is where my expertise stops and where Jen comes in, because you guys just like, well, you don't get it. Christy. Okay, then I've got someone here in front of you, who does get it. Now, Jen, let me just tell the audience that Jen, at one point in your career, Jen, you've been a couple of times a top-level figure competitor, you know, at the very top level, so you've always worked out you've always trained and then in there are different times in your lives where you trained more intensively. For certain competitions coming up, show mom guilt. I know it's real. Let's talk about it.

 

Jennifer  16:06  

Hmm. Yeah. I would love to be able to sit here and tell you that I have a ton of mom guilt all the time, but I had to get over that quick. I had to get over that quick, Christy. Look, we all have the same amount of time in the day. We all have the same amount of hours in a week. We all have the same responsibilities. No, I, whenever women come to me, they're like, I'm so busy. I don't have time. I don't have time to go to the gym. I don't deal with that long. I'm going to tell you why. We have time for what we prioritize. Let me tell you ladies something right now. 90% A recent study was done. I was looking at these statistics this morning before this podcast. 90% of women right now in this country have reported that they do more for their family than they do for the basic care and needs of themselves. Wow. 90% The other statistic that will blow you away I want to share with you is 26% of women right now have said that over the last three years, they have not done one thing. One thing for themselves, oh my gosh, that is a stat. I can't even get my head wrapped around that. This is the thing you guys and I spoke on Christy stage a little bit about this. But let's talk about this mom guilt thing. The only thing that's more important than your children. I know this is hard for you to hear. I'm not going to want a lot of friends right now. I don't really care because I care about this making a difference for you. Is you That is the only thing that's more important than your kids. It's you and I'm going to tell you this right now and this is why this hits home. Let this sink in. Listen, my daughter has me. She has me. She's a 13-year-old little girl, and I am her world. I am her world. She needs me to ski with her. She's gonna take her all over the place. She's gonna show it for her and it's like a circus half the time it's like a context for Right. It's like, Mom, what is like, you've got to be on your A-game. I cannot be sitting on the couch at seven o'clock at night, expecting somebody else to run around town to do what she needs to get done. I cannot sit on the couch because I'm exhausted. Because I don't take care of myself and be a good parent. I don't care what you say. That does not equate in my world. So here's the thing. If you are not taking care of your health, if you are not taking care of your fitness, your nutrition, right, you are not showing up for your kids. I don't care what you say. Period, cut and dry. So get over yourself because that's all ego. Because that mom martyr stuff is ego. It's like somebody give me some credit because I'm so busy. Stop wearing that like a badge. Stop wearing that like a badge. It is not a badge. It should be embarrassing. You should be embarrassed that you're sitting there saying that you don't have time to take care of yourself because really what you're saying is you don't care enough about taking care of yourself to really impact your family because guess what it They don't have you, what have you. And I'm going to tell you what really landed with me this year this last year, Christie knows this. But I don't want to get too involved in this specific topic, but I'm going to tell you why these islands with me so hard. My daughter doesn't have a father. She's got me. Her dad left us last year. Right? So what happens if I let my health go? What happens if I decide that my fitness isn't important? What happens if I decide that, you know, maybe I should just take a backseat and relax? Right? No, because she suffers, because I get to be the one that shows up for her now when she's 21. She's graduating college and which is having babies. I'm the one that gets to show up for it. If I don't take care of myself right now. That cannot happen for her. And that is selfish, and I don't care what anybody says. So I will stand in that and I will tell all moms out there right now get over your guilt. Because this martyr stuff that you're playing in this game that you're playing with yourself is really Just about your ego. So until you're ready to get honest about that, nothing's going to change, right? You're going to stay in the story and it's serving you. That story is serving you in some way you're looking for some type of like accolade or, oh, you do so much, you know, but you're not. That's not the truth, right? The truth is, you would be doing so much if you were taking care of yourself. You could show it for your family. And so this topic gets me fired up as you can tell because I run into women I know you do, too. Christy. I know you do every day that it's like I don't have time I've got to take my kids here. I've got to make this and you guys, prioritize yourself get up 20 or 30 minutes early. Put the crockpot on with some roast in it instead of going to McDonald's on your way home. It takes less time. takes less time. Put a crack in the morning before I do anything. My crockpot goes on my out goes in there. I'm good. Throw some salad on the table. Dinner is ready. It takes less time than McDonald's.

 

Cristy  20:58  

Idaho girl it's an Idaho girl Should I get some elk in the crockpot?

 

Jennifer  21:04  

Hey, what can I say but at the same time and then also like Christie doesn't take much for your fitness, you know this, like, set your alarm 20 minutes early, you guys, literally in your bedroom, you can do some squats and push-ups and jumping jacks, like for real, just do something. And if it starts at 20 minutes, and maybe you know, in three weeks, it turns into 30 maybe it turns into the gym, I don't know. But do something everybody has time. And when you say that you don't, you know, you're really I mean, you're making everybody else kind of look at you like really? I mean, I'm running a business, I'm running a household, I'm running my husband's business, I'm ready. All of these things and you're telling me you don't have time like we all have at the same time. Get over it, you know? Yeah. So yeah, that's my take on it.

 

Cristy  21:48  

You know, a Jen spoke at Code Red live 2019 and Jen has agreed to speak at Code Red live 2020 October 2 and third in Salt Lake City, downtown Hilton. Jen, can you talk a little bit about what you're gonna bring to the audience? Just a little hint maybe of kind of what you're getting because you are our favorite speaker at Code Red live 2019

 

Jennifer  22:11  

Yeah, thanks, Christy. I had so much fun I mean, it was like the highlight it was so fun. I love your audience your rebels are amazing. Like I love them and I'm so honored to speak to them again so pumped about Salt Lake number one I am going to do a little bit different the sheet this time for you, Christy, but I'm really going to get into this ego thing. And, you know, ego is kind of like the source of it's just the source of all the excuses, right? Like you're living in ego, you're full of excuses. So we're going to really talk about diving into how to get out of your excuses. So you can really get into living your life fully. And I'm going to tell a little bit more about my story and how it relates to my family. And you know how the things that I've done in my life have because there's a dark side of my story, Christie, right. There's a dark side. And I think people always It was all butterflies and rainbows, and it wasn't at all. And I made some mistakes along the way. And those mistakes not only impacted me, but they impacted my family negatively and the choices that we're making on our daily basis, we have to look up, right? And we're going to talk about that at the live because when we're constantly focused on us, right, and we're thinking that only the choices we're making are affecting us. We are dead wrong. Because when I started to look up and understand how it was really negatively affecting some of the choices that were making for my family, my daughter, my relationships, my friendships, then I really understood you know, the choices that I make, I get to be responsible for not only for myself but for the people that I impact. And we get to do that when we look at our health. And we get to do that at Code Red live.

 

Cristy  23:46  

Yeah, I love that. And Jen's going to be sharing some pretty dark stuff with you guys some stuff that's very, very, very, very personal and I know that the audience last year you could have heard a pin drop, and it is, you know, it took it takes a lot of guts to get on stage in front of 1000 people and completely lay it on the line, but she does this for you guys. So I'm going to put in the link below where you can get code read live 2020 tickets to come to see Jen as she speaks all over the place. But where can people reach you, Jen? If they want to reach you, if they're interested in your program, you have a program that might be a good fit for them. Where can they reach you?

 

Jennifer  24:21  

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. For you putting that out there. Pretty easy, Jennifer Ludington calm, but I love to hang out on Instagram. I mean, it's my favorite place to hang out like yours. I love it. So if you want to five minutes to come, it's Jennifer Ludington. So it's pretty easy. But yeah, I like to connect on Instagram and it's always me. So there's like nobody else. It's just me messaging you back. So yeah.

 

Cristy  24:42  

Yeah, it's really Jen and I both believe in personal relationships and keeping in contact with the followers and the people and, and building relationships. It's all about relationships. And I learned that early on with Jen. She's real good about building relationships with people and in the community. Thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your story. Well, I just love these moms Listen, come on parents. What? I don't know how much more I can make it clear to you guys. I mean, you know, there's just you've heard now you know, now you know so you can't unknow and you can't make any more excuses. So Jen, thank you again so much for being on here with us.

 

Jennifer  25:15  

Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for having me. It was an honor.

 

Cristy  25:18  

So, guys, we will catch you soon. Everything you need is gonna be in the links below. You know, guys, we know how to reach me if you need me. You know how to reach Jen if you need her. Have a good one. Thank you, everybody.

 

Outro  25:30  

Bye. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of rebel weight loss and lifestyle. Do you have a question that you'd like me to answer raw and uncut on the podcast? Then all you have to do is head over to Apple podcast on your phone or computer and do three simple things. leave a rating and review telling me what you think of the podcast. And in that review, ask anything you want related to help weight loss mindset. And if you want a shout out, leave your Instagram handle or name. That's all been listening to hear your question answered live raw and uncut on the next q&a episode, so, I'll see you on the next episode of rebel weight loss and lifestyle.

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