Let me give you some keep-the-weight-off wisdom I learned a few years ago:

“Get to know who you are without the weight.”

When “losing weight” and “being fat” stop being part of your identity, you can feel so lost and disoriented that you’ll sabotage yourself by regaining weight…

All so you can fit into that identity of “someone with a weight problem.”

It’s similar to when someone retires from a job they’ve held for 30 years and feels lost…

Or when the last kid leaves home and your “mom” identity feels totally lost.

We all have several roles in life that define us.

When one of them changes, it’s like a part of us gets ripped away…a mental version of losing a limb.

In the case of weight loss, even though you don’t want to be fat anymore, being fat is such a part of who you are that you feel lost without it.

That’s why it’s SO important to start learning who you are without the weight (even if you’re not in maintenance yet).

A great way to do this is to start saying yes to the stuff “fat you” says no to.

Use some common sense, obviously. Don’t throw yourself in front of a train or anything.

But if “fat you” doesn’t want to go out in public because you think people are judging you, go out in public.

If “fat you” wants to stuff her (or his) face because you’re lonely, text a few friends instead.

If “fat you” wants to wear oversized sweats and pajama bottoms to try and hide the weight, wear something that fits instead…

Because until you change how you see yourself…until you stop thinking and acting like someone with a weight problem…

You’ll stay in a constant tug-of-war between the part of you who wants the weight gone and the part that wants your old ways.

You’ll also be vulnerable to weight regain (especially if you’ve lost a significant amount of weight – the more weight you lose, the more vulnerable you are to this).

Bottom line: Get to know who you are without the weight, and in so doing, set yourself free from the cycle of weight regain.