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67: What STORIES Are You Telling Yourself?

What Is This Episode About…

What stories are you telling yourself? Are these stories limiting you or driving you towards success? Most people are not even aware of the stories they tell themselves. These stories might have been instilled in us while growing up while we pick others as adults. Unfortunately, most of these stories are negative stories that limit our potential.

The first step to overcoming this negative self-talk is by being aware of it. Somebody might mention it to you or you might just listen to yourself and write down these stories. Then you need to acknowledge that you can control your thoughts. You can change how you talk to yourself. Thoughts and words have a really powerful impact on our lives. If you think of yourself as a successful person, then you are more likely to succeed.

You can reverse old stories and make new ones that will drive you forward. A good place to start with changing your thoughts is the two most common things that people tell themselves that are absolutely wrong: I can’t afford this and I don’t have time. These two statements and others should never come out of your mouth. There are many ways you can rephrase them.

Listen in to learn how these statements affect you and how you can rephrase them. 

Key Takeaways

  • What is the internal dialogue happening in your head (02:35)
  • How Cristy changed her self-talk and adopted a different money mindset (09:08)
  • Overcoming the lack mentality by changing your thoughts and your words (11:27)
  • What stories that were put in your head while young that are holding you back (20:13)
  • Rephrasing common statements we tell ourselves that are absolutely wrong  (21:50)
  • How self-affirmations push us in the right direction (24:41)
  • Changing your thoughts and your mentality may take a while but soon you’ll believe it (30:54)
  • Reversing mental damage caused by negative thoughts by thinking about positive things happening in your life (37:12)

Learn More About The Content Discussed…

Get the Code Red On-The-Go Guide here.

Join the next 10-Pound Takedown Challenge here.

When Was It Released…

This episode was released July 1, 2020

Episode Transcript…

The Transcript Is Auto-Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

 

Cristy  0:00  

to people who are losing weight, they're the same size and they are losing weight at the same rates. And yet, they have two different stories. They have two different attitudes about it. And they're telling themselves two different stories. Really same age, same starting size, same everything, the same rate of loss. And I've got one gal who is happy and she says, I'm so happy. I'm losing 1.5% of my body weight every week. And the other person is like, God, you know what frickin 1.5% of my body weight Gosh, dang it, you know.

 

Intro 0:32 

I'm Cristy Code Red and you're listening to rebel weight loss and lifestyle where we believe food holds the power to heal or poisoned and we believe our society has been misled regarding proper nutrition and weight loss. You're in the right place if you're looking for some straight up truth, because I'm here to shed light on the lies and brainwashing that has taken place over the past five decades. Thanks so much for listening.

 

Cristy  0:59  

Come back to rebel weight loss and lifestyle. I am Cristy Code Red, your host author, entrepreneur, retired professional boxer. Once again, like most of my podcast nowadays, it used to just be once in a while but now it's almost over. I think it's pretty much every podcast. Cari Thompson is joining me. Thank you so much for being here. 

 

Cari  1:17  

Thank you so much. I'm Cari Thompson, Mom, COO and army wife

 

Cristy  1:24  

like Patricia like you say, pow pow pow pow. I'm gonna do it Cristy

 

Cari  1:29  

Papa Papa Papa Papa bow.

 

Unknown Speaker  1:34  

I'm cooking up something and packing up to move like every other army wife knows.

 

Cristy  1:41  

But you got that high ponytail going on right now. I do.

 

Cari  1:43  

It's the high point till day post folks that can't see it. It is large and in charge.

 

Cristy  1:50  

Guys, we have a I feel like I share this on every podcast. We have a great one for you with her all freaking great. Come on. We're talking about the stories we tell ourselves. What Do you tell yourself and it's such a broad when I just say it like that you're like, Whoa, what are you talking about? Well, what am I talking about? It could be a lot of different things. It could be what you tell yourself minute to minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, year by year, you're gonna you can get down and granular with it, or you can get broad with it.

 

Cari  2:19  

And I think that it is such a good topic. It's really a mindset topic. And we do mindset stuff. But we talk a lot about practical stuff. So when I suggested this idea to Cristy, I was like, it's kind of different for us. But I think that it's super important to know, what is the internal dialogue that's happening in your head? What are the stories? What are the things you're telling yourself? What have you told yourself in the past? What are you currently saying to yourself because Cristy, here's what I find is that people don't often know what they're saying to themselves. I know that sounds weird when I say that, but I don't think that they recognize how detrimental or How good it can be to have the right story playing in your head, if that makes sense. Yeah.

 

Cristy  3:06  

I don't think that they're aware of what they're telling themselves. And I don't think that they know that they can control their thoughts. And so why I can't help but I'm thinking, Oh, baloney, you absolutely can. The stories I tell myself now are vastly different than the stories I used to tell myself. In fact, let me just tilt the camera down. For those of you who can see my shirt says billionaire in the making. And that is a shirt I got from Grant Cardone at the TEDx growth con in Las Vegas in February of 2020. When I went I'm a huge Grant Cardone fan, and he has very, and if you could look at my computer, it says right here, prove it and the front of my computer, and then it says, Where's my money? And it's like, it's funny, because I am thinking about revenue. And I'm thinking about the impact I'm making all the time. But let me tell you the way Cari and I were raised, we didn't talk about money. I talked about money all the time. Now. We didn't talk about it growing up about not having it right. We didn't we didn't have it and but we It was such a different mindset than and I had to really get past some really major money mindsets. So that's one of many things that I have had to tell myself a different story. Even since I've been working with you, Cristy. And since I mean, you and I are BFFs anyway, but you have taught me Don't say you can't afford it. Say I'm choosing not to spend my money on it. Now. If you're always saying, I can't afford that, I can't afford that. I can't afford that. Isn't that a different story then? I'm choosing not to spend my money on that right now. Or I'm choosing to spend my money on this right now. is such a you guys think about that? rebels? That's a completely different way of thinking. Okay, okay. Are you ready for my song Cristy? You have a song for us. Oh,

 

Cari  4:48  

this is remember the DC member. I'm a huge fan of the 1980s 1990s band DC talk. It was rocky enough to where we felt like we were doing something wrong by listening to them. But they talked about Jesus enough to where we were not going to go to hell by listening to them.

 

Unknown Speaker  5:07  

Laugh you guys laugh at Christmas laughing because she knows that I actually am telling the truth there.

 

Unknown Speaker  5:12  

If you listen to somebody that will be in the truck and brand, they'll be

 

Cari  5:16  

like, pour some sugar. And I'm like, we weren't allowed to listen to that growing up. Like he's like, yeah, remember, rat back in high school. I'm like, Brandon, unless I went to a school dance. Like I didn't listen to it. So we definitely were raised that. But anyway, there's a song by DC talk. tobymac and he sings. We been down to the bottom stories we got and when we hit rock bottom, and it's true, everyone's got a story. Everyone's got a pass. Everyone listen to me rebels. You all have something that you say to themselves yourself, whether you're cognizant of it, or whether you're not, you absolutely are telling yourself something every minute of every day.

 

Unknown Speaker  5:59  

Don't make it Bones about what I'm not thinking about anything. Well, no, no,

 

Cari  6:03  

you're telling yourself a story. especially true for women. I've never been inside the head of a man. I'm still trying to figure that one out a marriage later. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I got to figure that one out. But as far as being a woman, I know that we are telling yourself stories. Crissy how many times and you guys know that I lost 100 pounds and I've kept it off for years. How many times have I caught myself telling such a terrible story to myself? A terrible story to myself, catch myself sideways in the mirror speaking to myself, like I wouldn't speak to anybody. Not my worst enemy. What I say the things that I say and said in my own story. You're so ugly, Cari. You're so fat. You're disgusting. Nobody likes you. You're ugly Cari, you're so fat. And that was the story that went through my head and guys, even after I lost weight, I would still catch myself. So funny in the mirror and be like, you're so disgusting, Cari, you're so and you guys, I'm a successful person. I'm a confident, successful person. And that story was still playing in my mind. And I still struggle with it from time to time. And I would never say it to Crissy. I wouldn't say that to anybody. I wouldn't talk that way to anybody.

 

Cristy  7:21  

Yeah, that's horrible. I know that for me, I had I've been through a couple of heartbreaking situations that I really didn't ask for, and I didn't really deserve I guess you could say, but one of them was I had $36,000 stolen from me of money I had been saving. I was in a relationship with a guy that earned my trust and I've been saving this money because I wanted to open my own gym. That's always kind of was my dream, right? And then I realized how difficult running a gym No, actually, then he ended up taking that money from me and slowly embezzling it from me until I had nothing left but debt. And I remember I had $14,000 on a discover credit card. Cari had no money. Right, I left this guy I had nothing because he had taken everything from me. I had a car that overheated. I was just had gotten fired from Gold's Gym. And it was just I was at rock bottom. And I remember like, I couldn't make this $14,000. I mean, I said to myself, you will never get out of debt. I remember saying you're never going to get out how you're going to crawl yourself out from under this, the weight of the world was on my shoulders, you'll never get out of debt, you'll never get out of debt. And I slowly chipped away at that horrible Discover card that had like massive interest rates. So you can't really get ahead of it because the interest rate, but I did I chipped away at it in big chunks. But that was a story playing in my head over and over, you'll never be out of debt. Well, now. I am not only out of debt, but lending money. I am accumulating wealth I am able to pour into a company that creates new programs to help bring hope and healing to people from all over the world. I employ people like such a different story, but I had to tell myself a different story even in the midst of that horrific situation. I was

 

Cari  9:00  

going to ask Cristy Do you remember after that situation? Do you remember when you started to kind of switch your thinking? Do you like, Really?

 

Cristy  9:08  

Yes, I remember what it was Natasha, my first and current business coach. She's been my business coach now for over four years. We just can't seem to separate each other. But I don't think we want to. She said to me one time I must have, I don't remember what I said that Megan, she turned to me and looked at me and said, You have got to change your self talk if you want to change your wealth. And she said, You've got to start getting a different money mindset. The turning point for me was miles. I have my husband miles I've been with for almost 10 years. So at the time of this recording, and Myles is a self made millionaire. He accumulated wealth early on and has just managed his money show. Well, he was able to retire in his 40s and now he's in his 60s and he's just, he is such a wonderful man. And I remember seeing him and I remember saying to myself, okay, here's a wealthy guy, and I want to be wealthy. So I want to start acting like what a wealth wealthy people act like because I've never been around anybody this wealthy certainly we don't come from any kind of wealth. And so I started to say, Okay, I want to start I just started to emulate him. And even the words that he used, the his language, his wording, everything that he did, I emulated everything, I emulated his body language, I emulate it, and then I would listen to how he would talk. And I would talk about objects and about buying things and about how having possessions everything. And I started to tell him myself, that even if I didn't believe it at the time I started talk differently about myself. And I would say, you are going to have so much money you can lend, you are going to have money, you'll never have to worry about money and I still had to worry about money. I was on Idaho State food stamps, but I started telling myself a different story. And finally it happened finally it took root and it happened.

 

Cari  10:47  

Cristy Tell me a little bit about a term I've heard you use a lot. And I think this ties in really well with stories. I've heard you use this term. And guys, I just want to preface this before I ask Cristy this question. We're not talking about for those of you that were raised Pentecostal like us to name it and claim it, the blab it and grab it. The you know, Jesus got a list for you, Jesus, if you have a minute, I'm gonna tell you what I need. We're not talking about that. We're talking about the things that you seriously say, inside yourself. That's what we're talking about. But Cristy, you use this a lot. And I like it use the term lack mentality. And I don't think this only applies to money. Can you tell me a little bit about what

 

Cristy  11:27  

Yeah, the lack mentality stems from and I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude to my folks. My parents did the best they could with the way they were raised. They were raised with the same mentality and we were raised with this mentality, and nobody meant to do it. It just was the way it was. We were raised with a lack mentality. It was a you get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit. And it was kind of like, you know, you don't change the situation. That's the situation that you're in. And so the lack mentality is to me are people who concentrate more on What they, instead of saying, well, I wish I would have thought about this, or I should have asked you ahead

 

Cari  12:06  

of time, instead of saying what the potential is, is always looking at the downside, right? It's a negative way,

 

Cristy  12:11  

kind of the glass is half full, instead of just always just looking at the current situation the way it is, instead of just saying what you want. And what because if you start thinking about what you want, and thinking, and saying out loud what you want, you really do change the situation, which is weird. And we were never raised with that knowledge. We didn't understand that you actually there are power in your thoughts and power in your words. And so even if you want me I think that if growing up and if you would have actually said something different than the current situation, they probably would have had to committed because it was like, Oh, you're crazy. You know, like, I'm a wealthy person. Yeah, you can't even afford a gas in your gas tank, you know. So that was the definitely the lie. I can spot a lack mentality from a mile away in somebody. And that's somebody who definitely talks about what they can't afford. They're always bringing up what they can't afford their own. He's talking about what they

 

Cari  13:01  

can do. It doesn't have to be money. It could be what you can't do. Well, I can't do that. I can't get an A, I can't get to college. I can't do that degree. There's no way I could. There's no way I will. I don't think I can. It's that same idea, right?

 

Cristy  13:18  

It's Yes. And we had somebody in the code red community that was in leadership with us and I noticed bad that she had a lack mentality. It was everything from you know, you have a hole in your wall, and instead of saying, we can't afford to fix that hole, that's what she would say. And instead of saying that you would say fixing that holds on our list of things to do for the coming 12 months. That's the way you flip it around, you know, and that was never it was always lack lack lack, we don't have we can't afford I don't. This is what just always and it was every thought every word that came out of her mouth was just was was the glass was half empty instead of rephrasing it, because when you start to rephrase it, you start to see yourself as different

 

Cari  14:00  

The lack mentality, what Cristy's talking about rebels is exactly what becomes

 

Cristy  14:04  

intentionally or not intentionally part of your story.

 

Cari  14:10  

And you know, there are certain things in our lives that become part of our stories. Without us realizing it. Let me give you an example that doesn't have to do with mentality. But this is a great example. So the other day my daughter, Courtney, who is a graduate student at Washington State University in in micro biology, she told me, Mom, I had a chance to clean my room, my house, and after I was done, I lit a candle. And she said, by the way, you never told me that not everybody cleans their house and lights a candle. And I was like, What do you mean she goes, Well, I mentioned to my friends like why did you light a candle she said because the house is clean. That's what my mom always did. She would like to how light or clean the house everything scrubbed up, and then go around and light all the candles that signifies the end of lint just using know the end of the house being cleaned. And it smells good now and I never even thought about me instilling that value into my daughter Cristy, until she mentioned that and then I was like, I have given her a story. I've given her a tradition. I've given her a story without even realizing it because I like candles so much. And I like my house clean. I had no idea guys, you could have been given good stories, unfortunately, or bad stories. And I will never forget the time that a relative said to one of my friends, my friend tells a story and she still struggles with weight to this day. She said that before she had a weight problem. Her mom said to her, they were picking out underwear for her older sister who was thin and she was always a little heavier. And the mom said, Oh, girls that are big like us don't wear underwear like that only your sister does. Now that may have been a true statement because of course certain styles, underwear fit bottoms better. But that was a story. worry that was given to my friend in that moment. And she plays that story over and over in our head. girls like me don't wear things like that. girls that are big like me don't do things like this. girls that are shaped like me don't have opportunities that other people have you guys. That mom gave my friend a story that she has consequently Carid for over 40 years the same story and I doubt that my friend even knows that's her story, but I can see it clear as day course we can always see something with somebody else's life. I can see that story Crissy it's so clear to me that is the story that keeps her from losing weight and taking her life back because girls like us we don't deserve to be a size eight. We deserve to be a size 18 hmm

 

Cristy  16:53  

you know with the rebel for Life program with Code Red This is a rebel for life is a an exclusive program. It's a VIP program that I only open up, if I even do it a couple of times a year to certain people who want to really, really pull out all the stops, and part of the program is a lot of contact with me. So I have my rebel for life VIP clients that I contact, I stay in contact every day. And we do zoom meetings. Now with the great thing about zoom meetings, as you guys know, as you can see, if the person shares their camera with me, I can see their face. And I've gotten to know a lot of these guys. And so I'll see the faces of two people who are losing weight, they're the same size and they are losing weight at the same rates. And yet, they have two different stories. They have two different attitudes about it. And they're telling themselves two different stories. Really same age, same starting size, same everything same rate of loss, and I've got one gal who is happy and she says I'm so happy I'm losing a 1.5% of my body weight every week. And the other person is like God, you know what frickin 1.5% of my body weight guys thing you know, I just can't believe this, like, this is such a slow weight loss or something. It's always or and it's the same like, I was so excited. I dropped the whole size in a month. And the other person I only dropped the size this month is so funny because now I can see two different people that are saying just two different stories, but they have the same circumstances. Wow.

 

Cari  18:21  

Yeah. I very clearly share something about mom. Let me think it through. Before I share it. I'm trying to think of which of our relatives listened to the podcast. The other thousands of you that listened to it. I don't think a whole lot of them. I don't know, maybe some of them. Maybe they do. You know, this is a very interesting story that our mother was told very young. I love my grandma. She's went to be with Jesus when Chase was a baby. So it's been, what, 21 years ago. So we haven't you know, she's been with the Lord for a long time. But growing up, my mom had her struggles with her mom, and she doesn't remember her mother ever saying I love you. Let me tell you something that'll put a story in you. That'll be a story. And our mom has told us that story. How many times Cristy, have you heard that story? Yeah, like countless, countless. So that moment, became defining for mama Carol. And it became a catalyst for a lot of her actions. And again, I'm not I love mama Carol. I'm not putting her down. I'll just say mama Carol, so you guys know who I'm talking about? So for instance, our mom, always make sure that we know that she loves us, wouldn't you say Cristy and I know that she would do that anyway. But I think a lot of it has to do with that story that was placed in her head by her mother, very young. And another thing is, she's always sticking up for the other one. So if I come to mom, and I'm like, Chris, he's rad. Dad, she's like, well, she's under a lot of stress. Or if I say our sister Laura, you know this happened. Mom will go on. Well, and I'm sure she does the same to me to Cristy if she said, Kerry's really aggravating me. Well, you got to understand. So and that's part of that, but it's always seeing the good it's always because of that story that came in our head. So rebels Let me ask you a question. What stories that were put in your head young are keeping you are shaping you are holding you back or propelling you forward. What are the stories that you have floating in your head right now? And they're hard to identify Cristy? They really are. Until I caught myself saying that really nasty stuff about myself. I went, Oh my gosh, you wouldn't even talk to an enemy like this. Why are you talking to yourself about this? So rebels? What are the stories that you're saying to yourself? Is it an underwear comment by a mother 40 years ago? Is it that one time my ex husband's old grandma said, Oh, what does she say? You're just gonna eat dessert, you know, you need to lose some weight and it just it crushed me It stuck with me. That was a story I started to play in my head and She was like 90 years old. So who cares? But that was a story that started playing in my head. So what are the stories, I would love for you to write down your stories? Because once you can identify them Cristy, like you did with the lack mentality and the money mindset. It needs you so much more aware of it, and then you could deal with it. When you pointed out in me that I had tendency to do that Cristy. I started changing the way I think about things. I hardly ever will say, I can't afford something, I'll be like, well, we're gonna wait on that or we have that on a list or I don't know if we're gonna do that right now. Cristy has changed it, because Cristy helped me recognize my story. So I'm wondering, you know, what kind of stories do you guys have that is keeping you from losing that last five pounds? Well, I've never weighed below 150. So I never will. Is that a story you're telling yourself?

 

Cristy  21:50  

Well, the two biggest things that people tell themselves over and over that are absolutely wrong. This should never to phrase this should never come out of your mouth is that I can't afford and I don't have time you can read phrase out like a million other ways. You could say, I choose not to spend time on this, or I choose not to spend my money on it. And so I would love to see those two things. If you just get control of those two things, my gosh, so many things would be so much better in your life right off the bat just outside of weight loss. But my word, what you tell yourself, speak it out loud, even if you don't believe it, and you don't carry I don't have a problem with negative self talk. I do get frustrated with myself when I do certain things that I know are wrong, and then I can feel myself doing them and I say, dang it, why do you do this? Why do you do this? I don't understand what and sometimes I do now that I know that I think if I do say what is wrong with you, you are so messed up to for you to continue to do this over and over. And so I don't know if that's very cruel, but I don't I don't call myself fat or ugly or stupid, but I don't really.

 

Cari  22:49  

But that's just not something that you struggle with Cristy you struggled with other things. How about here's a great one that I mean, you and I have had past relationships.

 

Unknown Speaker  22:57  

I'm just saying if you'd like advice on how to know To make it work, I'd be happy to give it to I'm gonna write a work.

 

Cari  23:02  

I'm gonna write a book on that. I'm really good at that. How not to make a marriage work. I've

 

Cristy  23:05  

got the top 10 things you can do.

 

Cari  23:08  

So but one thing Cristy is I hear women say all the time, all the good guys are gone. Ah, the good guys are gone. I just pick losers. I pick losers. Oh, hold on, Betty. Hold on. How many times you're going to keep saying that to yourself. Like At what point does that stop and you say there's somebody great out there or maybe there's nobody and I don't want to be with anybody which is fine. What point Cristy then you attract that I see women do this all the time. And then they wonder why they keep getting into these terrible relationships over and over and over and over and over again. Because they say there's nobody good Cari, you got the last one.

 

Cristy  23:52  

Huh? Yeah. Hundred percent. You keep Well, my pickers broken. You just keep saying that crap over and over and over. You are attractive. that negative energy The more you say that so the best thing even if you don't believe it don't freaking say it out loud. You can say there is somebody out there I want to partner there's a perfect partner for me or just say something else but quit saying that baloney out out loud is you are attracting that to yourself.

 

Cari  24:17  

Cristy what was the what was the movie when she said you're good enough? You're pretty enough.

 

Cristy  24:21  

Oh yeah, what's that movie called? I is you is pretty you is kind? I don't remember the color purple. I don't remember that.

 

Cari  24:28  

No, it was the one with the pie when she did the pie. Yeah, the Pooh pie?

 

Cristy  24:35  

Do I have to look it up who is con you is important you is pretty or something? I

 

Cari  24:41  

Why do people believe so strongly in self affirmations? Because it changes your thinking. It changes your thinking, why do we tell depressed people get up, get your hair done. Get in the shower and make your bed because it pushes them in the right direction. It just changes that thinking air. I, our dad is a counselor. And he and I've had conversations about thinking errors and thinking errors are stories. That's what they are. That's just a fancy word that people that are in psychology like to use for it. And thinking errors are those things that get us back into it. My dad worked with prisoners, and it would be, I'm gonna reoffend when I get out of the prison, and I'll never be rehabilitated. And I can never change I am the person I am. And these prisoners did not even realize that they had these thinking errors, and subconsciously get out and make the exact same decisions and choices again and end up back in prison back in jail. So what is going on? There's a root cause there there is a deeper issue. And the problem is and until you identify it until you know that you're doing it Crissy I always fail at diets. I lose 10 pounds, and then I gain it back. Or I start out strong, but I always fail in the end. Oh my gosh. Why are you saying that yourself, it may have been true in the past, but who you are today is not who you will become. And your current situation does not have to be your future situation. Where you are now is not where you have to stay. And it boils down to what you're saying to yourself. It boils down to the stories, the thinking errors, the things that you're saying to yourself, and it has to be it. You have to that's why I tell Emery every day when I kiss her goodbye. I love you. You are beautiful. You are smart. You can do anything you want. And you guys might be like, Cari. I mean, sometimes I'm yelling at her to get her shoes on and get out the door because I see the bus coming around the corner. Let's be honest. I'm not saying I walk around with fairy dust and a wand guys. I don't want you to think I'm unrealistic. I'm the most realistic person I know. But it's so smart to implant that stuff. You're going to give your kids a story. You're either going to give them Your your beautiful story, or you're going to give them the girls that size. Don't wear clothes like that. You're going to give them a story. You're going to say something in your head and it's up to you to pick what it is. You're gonna say something well, curious full of it. Well, you're saying something is going around in your head.

 

Cristy  24:48  

Yeah. You know, one of the defining moments for me was when I was little, and I was really little. And I think that mom literally single handedly changed the trajectory of my life with this one thing. I used to say, I can't I can't Oh, I can't and mom identified this early on. And I had a little list. I couldn't say my acid, my SS so I, I fed it like this. You know, I had a little like that. And I'd say I can't quit and she's my mom finally got upset and she said, darn it Cristy, you are not Cristy, I can't you are Cristy, I can and I said I am and she said yes you are. You're Cristy I can and I am telling you right now. You guys. I have never wanted My life thought since then, that there wasn't that there was something I couldn't do. I always believed that anything I wanted to do I could do. And it's so funny. And now my dad, he straightened me out a couple times because I said I'm going to be a college basketball player one time and my dad said Oh, really well you better be have a basketball in your hand all the time. Well, that was the reality of it. You know if I wanted to be a college basketball player and I wasn't handling a ball all the time so that wasn't the same it's just that him saying oh like Kurt like Amar'e he says I want to be an astronaut and curious said you better learn your nines then you know, so that was the joke is I believe in being realistic as well. Yes. But I Cristy I can and I she changed at the age of two or whatever it was. And I've never believed anything different. So my gosh, that I'm so glad that story got changed because I might not have been who

 

Cari  28:50  

I turned out to be. That was a story. So our mom had an opportunity to put a story in Crissy. She was going to walk away from her childhood with a story Yes, she was. And so it was up to Carol. Mama Carol what story Cristy walked away with. And so it's up to you what story you walk away with. And I think that people poopoo this. Now, it is true about Anne Marie that I did say that she's like, maybe I'll be an astronaut. And I was like, Yeah, but you don't know your nines timetables, you better get on them.

 

Unknown Speaker  29:18  

I mean, like, they get to know that kind of stuff. Cristy, or Anne Marie,

 

Cari  29:22  

and I'm not being unrealistic. I do believe in reaching for the stars. But I do believe in realism. So I don't want you guys to be like, well, they're doing rainbow farts and, you know, and unicorn glitter. We're not being that way. But if you don't think you can ever get under 200 pounds, and you keep telling yourself that Guess what, you're never going to be under 200 pounds, never going to be under 200 pounds. And you know, I would go to the gym I started part of my health journey was me going back to the gym. And the only way I was able to do that is I had to tell myself a different story. And I don't have to be the best. I'm not Never going to be as good as Cristy and that's okay. You know, I'm not going to achieve those levels. But just to go and start, I had to change that story, Cristy because the story that you were the athletic one, although I was athletic in high school, and I was the one that didn't do that kind of stuff and complained it to you about it. That was a story that we had for what 10 years. It was Chris, he's always trying to get me to go on a walk or go to the gym, and I make fun of her and everyone laughs about it. And Chris is gonna try to get me to go on a walk and go to the gym. And I'm gonna make fun of her. And we're gonna laugh because I didn't want to look stupid, until I learned to change my story. And I said, Yeah, this is simple. I'm just going to do this for myself. I had to change that story. Okay, next time, Cristy asked me to go, I'm going to get up and go and you can ask her I do I go, I'm good. I'll go. What are we going to do? Let's do it. But I think at that was a 180. Talk about a 360. I hate when people say,

 

Cristy  30:54  

you know, the nice thing about the code red community is when you come to us You're so broken. Most people are so broken. They're they feel so hopeless. They've tried and failed at so many things. And the great thing about the code red community is you, we wrap our arms around you, we love you, and tell you can love yourself. And you might be thinking, that are you kidding me, this is not going to work. I'm never going to Cristy's got my goal. 136 pounds, there's no way I can reach that. But if you just continue to work the program and let us love you through it, you will start believing it. And we just asked you to just believe it, do the work. We will help you along we will carry you, we will pick you up, we will love you. We'll keep you going. We'll wrap our arms around you we will link arms with you. And pretty soon you'll actually start believing it. And you know the big money mentality change the lack mentality switch that I did. It took about three years to completely do and only in the fourth year of being at this success level that I really truly just grasp it. And it definitely wasn't always like that for me.

 

Cari  31:58  

And that's interesting because you've taught me So much in a short amount of time about that, but guys, you absolutely, we have a sticker and it says I can. And I will, huh? I can, I will. And until you get that in your heart, this is going to be like every other program, because we can have the perfect structure. I could have somebody come into your house every day that we just pay to slap Twinkies out of your mouth. I mean, but the truth is until you get it in your head until you start telling your story. I can tell you start switching your story. I can take my life back. I can be successful with Code Red, I can get the rest of this way off. I can feel good getting on an airplane. I will feel good. Going on a walk with my significant other. I will feel good. When I jump out of the shower, grab a towel and catch myself naked in the mirror. I'm not going to cry. Because there's a lot of days I spent crying at the sitting at the floor of a closet, because I didn't have anything that fit. So I understand that. And the story was Cari You're so disgusting. None of your stuff that you So I had to switch the way I was thinking. So you absolutely can we have faith now. But you have to identify those stories, Cristy What you say? And you have to be aware of them. And when you catch yourself because once you know you're doing it, as soon as Crissy said to me, You have a lack mentality, I went, do I, I had no idea till Cristy pointed out, when she pointed out, I changed the way I talked and successfully have changed a lot of financial things for myself as well.

 

Cristy  33:28  

was funny, Cari, because obviously I know how much you pay you make. And I'm like, I was doing the math. And I was like, boy, she sure acts like and talks like she's poor. And I know she ain't poor. And I was like, wait a minute, that's totally a lack mentality. I see what's going on here. So they do fine. I know their bills are paid and they're doing they're thriving. And I was like, she just doesn't even see it.

 

Cari  33:49  

I didn't even see it until you said something to me. And then I was like, wow. And once I got that switched in my head, Crissy and you guys, I still like going to the goodwill there's nothing that's going to change that. That's just an enjoy. thing for me Cristy's like, oh, God bless you chase that kind of stuff. But she hated that kind of stuff when she had no money to. So this is not because Cristy is who she is, I want you all to know that this is just her. She doesn't like Goodwill's she doesn't like shopping in general. So, um, but like, I'll go all day to the goodwill, I could have $5 million in the bank and I still be like, Is there a cup of

 

Cristy  34:19  

the goodwill I need to buy? I mean, that's just how

 

Cari  34:22  

I can't help it. But as soon as Crissy told me about the way I was thinking, and she helped me out with that with seeing myself as the size I am after I had lost weight, because I was still saying, I'm still fat. And she's like, What are you thinking? My aunt Barbara took a picture of me at Code Red live. Last year, I was standing at the counter getting ready. And she turned the camera on and she's like, Do you see this? Like, do you see who you are now? And so I don't know. It's such a hard thing. But it goes back to our stories. And if you can find your story, find the negative self talk the automatic stories. We tell our selves, identify it, and start to switch that I really think you're gonna find a greater happiness in general, but a greater success in general, I really do. Just especially with code red, or you can certainly fast track everything. Yes in your life, not only just your, you know, your marriage, the relationships you have with your kids, the relationship with your boss, your weight loss, so many things can change. If you get this right. You don't want to be miserable.

 

Unknown Speaker  35:28  

I don't want to be miserable. Sure, no. Jim gaffigan says,

 

Cari  35:33  

Have you ever met somebody that lost weight, and you look at them and you go, Oh, they don't look very good. But having lost the weight, like they're really angry and upset, like, just go eat a steak. Well, we get to eat steak and Code Red. But isn't that true? Have you met people that have lost weight and are still angry about it and resentful. We don't want that to be you. We want you to find joy in the journey every step and have that positive outlook. That positive story so you can get where you want to go and you actually enjoy it. You're not miserable the entire time. People don't go. Somebody give that woman a steak. Yeah,

 

Cristy  36:09  

right. Yeah, absolutely. So the quicker you can get this in your mind, the better you're going to be. And it's not going to happen quick. As far as the change might take a while, but it's going to be you continuing I know with my rebel for life VIP clients, I say to them over and over. I am healthy. I am smart. I am pretty. I am a good parent. And we do these repeating things when we repeat it back to ourselves. You feel silly, I don't care. Because you need to repeat this back to yourself over and over even if it feels silly or feels wrong. Eventually it will start to feel right.

 

Cari  36:40  

Yes, I love that. And that's the reason why there are self affirmations and Saturday Night Live. made fun of it and Gosh darn it people like me. I mean, it is true though. If you say it, you start to identify, you start to change. I'm telling you, but the biggest step for me Cristy is being aware because I wasn't even aware that I was doing some of these things. Until you pointed him out until I heard myself talking so horribly the fat carry. Well, I'm not fat carry anymore. So why do I talk so bad to myself? I don't understand why we do that to ourselves.

 

Cristy  37:12  

You know when I'm if I'm feeling a little bit frustrated with myself for that day maybe I eat something yesterday that I don't that I shouldn't have or whatever. Yeah, I tried to reverse the mental damage on myself by saying, Look, I'm wrong you are look your back doesn't hurt look at your you have strong legs look at you. You're on a hike with Annabel and your body feels good. Like I try to reverse it by by saying the right things. So

 

Cari  37:34  

I like the self talk queen.

 

Unknown Speaker  37:37  

I do and I say it out loud.

 

Cari  37:38  

Yeah, I need to find somebody that does not do such a good job to be on this podcast with me. I need to find someone that's like, Oh, yeah.

 

Unknown Speaker  37:46  

Oh, yeah. You know, and, and you're like,

 

Cari  37:49  

I never had that trouble. I'm like, Can we get another entrepreneur

 

Cristy  37:53  

on here that struggled with self talk? I'm teasing me. We will do another podcast with something I really, really struggle with. We hope that you guys enjoyed this episode of rebel weight loss and lifestyle. What story? Do you tell yourself? Let's talk about your stories. Let's talk about reversing old stories making new ones. You can absolutely do this and so much of weight loss is mental. I mean, it's 90% mental, you know, we can give you a list of things to eat. But up here is where the real battle is won and lost. So thank you for joining us. You guys have a good one. Thank you, everybody. Thanks so much for listening to rebel weight loss in lifestyle. If you're a code red rebel and you haven't already downloaded your Free Code Red lifestyle on the go guide, then Now is your time to get a copy. This guide will teach you how to stay Code Red approved, even with your crazy life schedule. To get a copy right now, all you need to do is open your podcast app, go to this episode show notes and click the link to get your code read approved on the go guide. So I will see you On the next episode of rebel weight loss in lifestyle

 

 

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